One question all Love Shop employees receive regularly is how to perform anal sex or where to begin. There is no “right way” to start, but there are steps you can take to ensure your journey into the world of butt stuff isn’t disastrous. As usual, we will begin by debunking some common myths about anal and answer the most pressing questions in this beginner guide to anal stimulation.
We're here to bust the myths and mysteries surrounding personal lubrification to help you select one that's perfect for you and all your sexy adventures. There are many options to choose from, but not all of them are alike. Incorporating lube in the bedroom is a normal and healthy practice for adults in all stages of life. Trust us; it's better down where it's wetter!
Myth #1 - Anal sex is unclean.
It doesn’t have to be! With the rising popularity and fading stigma of anal penetration, sex toy companies have introduced a wide variety of anal cleansing tools. The most popular method of ensuring a squeaky-clean behind is anal-douching. This preparatory act involves filling a squeezable bulb with lukewarm water or a body-safe saline solution, attaching a tapered nozzle and—you guessed it—squirting the liquid inside the rectum before expelling it.
It’s best to douche in a squatting position to allow easy expulsion and the least amount of resistance. You may also find applying a water-based lubricant to the nozzle will help with any discomfort. Repeat this several times until the water comes out clean. It’s recommended to wait 1 hour after douching, as the body can hold onto water. During that hour, the body will expel any remaining water, then you’re good to go!
Pro-tip: Douching with anything besides water or saline solution can increase risk of rectal damage, infection, or throwing off your body’s natural electrolytes. Do not use soap, homemade concoctions or hot water while douching.
Myth #2 - Anal sex is painful!
While it’s true anal sex can cause discomfort at first, it should never feel intolerable. If you experience sharp pain, stop what you’re doing, and reassess. For newcomers, we recommend starting very slow. There’s no better beginner's anal toy than your own fingers. Clip your fingernails, wash your hands thoroughly with mild soap and warm water, apply some lubricant, and explore using your favourite digit. This method is great for newbies, as it allows you to control movement and determine what feels good and what feels bad.
You can even slip on a finger condom or disposable rubber glove for less friction and to reduce the chance of anal tears from fingernails. Once you’re comfortable with the feeling, you can move onto a bigger finger, or try a small, tapered anal toy such as a butt plug, anal beads or prostate stimulator like the Cheeky Neza Anal Play Plug with graduating beads and a flared base, or the Club Men Cayo prostate vibrator. You may also find anal numbing gels or creams—used prior to anal penetration—helpful for reducing discomfort.
Pro-tip:While numbing creams can reduce discomfort during anal sex or penetration, we recommend sticking to approved formulas that contain small amounts of numbing agents such aslidocaine or benzocaine. Over application or using strong numbing agents can increase the risk of internal tearing, which may cause life-threatening infection.
Myth #3 - Only gay men enjoy anal sex.
This myth is an outdated assumption, and we’re here to set the record straight. Plenty of heterosexual people enjoy anal penetration, and if you don’t believe us, type “pegging” into the search bar of your favourite verified porn site. There are no orientation parameters preventing anyone from enjoying anal sex.
For those who have a prostate, stimulation of this area can enhance orgasms and sometimes even increase the amount of ejaculate one produces during orgasm. Some folks have even reported the ability to reach orgasm from prostate stimulation alone (referred to as a hands-free orgasm for males.) Women can also enjoy anal stimulation even in the absence of a prostate.
Pro-tip: The male prostate is a walnut-sized gland you can locate and stimulate from the inside ofthe anus by inserting a finger or stimulating toy and pressing along the front of the body (think toward the belly button.) This gland produces the watery component of male ejaculate and is a crucial component of male sexual wellness. So, don’t skimp on the prostate exams, gentlemen!
Types of Anal Toys
These beaded strands are a great toy if you’re looking to explore anal for the first time. Anal beads comprise several round beads that graduate from small to large, inserted into the anus one by one. The beads remain inside until the brink of orgasm, then you can pull them out for a unique and jaw-dropping sensation! From rubber to silicone, glass, metal, vibrating and non-vibrating, anal beads come in a multitude of materials and styles to suit your needs.
Plugs range from beginner to advanced and come in a variety of materials to suit the user’s comfort level. Often butt plugs are used to help one get comfortable with the sensation of penetration. Vibrating plugs can help relax muscles and provide pleasure to the wearer. Anal plugs taper at the top for ease of insertion, like a rounded apex of a pyramid, and get wider toward the bottom. Plugs have a flared base to prevent the toy from slipping inside during use and to secure while sitting, walking and going about your day. Some even come with aesthetically pleasing bases such as jewels or tails for those who like to tart up their tushy!
These toys are straightforward and do exactly what the name suggests—massage the prostate from the inside. Most prostate toys have an angled tip to help locate the gland, and a flared handle to help guide the way. Some companies have designed prostate massagers that flex and hold their shape to adjust to different bodies and even come with Bluetooth enabled vibration options you can control with a remote or from your Smartphone.
Double Penetration Toys
Double penetration is the act of penetrating both the vagina and the anus at the same time. This form of play can be highly pleasurable for some folks, and with the great range of toys available, you can experience double-penetration without adding more people to the mix. Toys like double-ended dildos or dual-headed dongs can help you explore the fulfilling sensations of double-penetration. If you’ve ever wished your lover had two penises, there are harnesses and attachments that can affix them with another appendage so you can both enjoy the fun of anal and vaginal penetration at once. Double penetration is also possible as vaginal-only or anal-only if you’re extra adventurous!
Anal Training Kits
A training kit can help you get used to the feeling of anal penetration by offering a range of graduating toys, starting from smallest to largest. The goal here is to start small and work your way up to the largest toy in order to “train” your body to accommodate either large toys or a partner’s appendage. Since the anus isn’t equipped to handle penetration without the right preparations, it’s good to give yourself time to grow accustomed to anal penetration, so play goessmoothly and pleasurably. Find anal training kits with butt plugs, different sized anal beads, dildos or a combination of them all.
Tunnel plugs are molded to fit inside the anus and have a wide opening from top to bottom to allow an insider’s view of what’s down under. Popular in the fetish community, tunnel plugs are a safer alternative to speculums, as they have a smooth, rounded end made from body-safe and soft material that won’t risk tearing your precious booty. If you’re looking to really open up, a tunnel plug (sometimes called a hollow plug) can ease the way into some more expert-level butt play. Open wide and say ah!