The Ultimate Guide to Foreplay
Have you ever reached a movie’s climax and thought the build-up was more satisfying than the inevitable pay-off? In the same way, the build-up toward sex can be just as (or even more) pleasurable as the sex itself. Yet, sexual education often neglects to emphasize foreplay, leading to many skipping it altogether. But sex without foreplay is like eating before your food is fully cooked, with no garnish or seasoning. It does the job, but it could have been better.
To turn good sex into great sex, consider levelling up your foreplay game. Drive your partner crazy before you ever lay a finger on them. Explore sensory stimulation that can lead to stronger orgasms. Incorporate sensual activities into your date night. There is no rule book for the best sex ever, but there are ways to make it pretty darn unforgettable, and it all starts before you do the deed.
Setting the Mood
Sexual pleasure begins in the brain. It’s all mental until our erogenous zones receive signals we’re aroused. Maybe it begins with a sultry look, a suggestive text message, or a treasured memory. There are many different ways to spark the mood.
If you’re planning an intimate night with your partner, try setting the tone with a suggestion of what may come later. Send a message or photo to let them know you’ve been thinking about them, or write a note and stick it where they’re sure to find it.
One evocative message can get your partner’s blood flowing, stirring up excitement for things to come. This also makes your intentions clear and gives them a chance to reciprocate or decline. If you get the green light, it’s on! But don’t floor the gas yet. There’s still lots to do before you score.
Engage Your Senses
Date night doesn’t require rose petals and champagne to be special. Although we love a candlelit room and the thought of our lovers putting in the effort to create a romantic setting, keeping it simple can be just as effective. Use date night as a warm-up with simple but effective indulgences to bring you and your partner into the moment, and in touch with your senses.
Taste - Stay home and make your partner their favourite meal. Finish it off with a sweet treat to introduce a little aphrodisia. Did you know that chocolate creates the same chemical release we feel when we fall in love, and vanilla invokes feelings of luxury and indulgence? Yummy.
Smell - Light a candle, your favourite incense, turn on an oil diffuser or spritz yourself with a sexy perfume. Rich notes in the air can have a charming effect and turn any atmosphere into one of seduction. Amber, Jasmine, leather, cardamom and rose scents are perfect mood-setters.
Sight – Wear something flirty. Never underestimate the power of stockings, a nice tie, high heels, or a strategically opened button. Dress in their favourite colour. Choose an outfit you know will make them weak. The sight of you dolled up will remind them of why they found you attractive in the first place.
Touch – Hugs, kisses and gentle grazes on the leg or arm will set their nerves off. This can be anything from holding their hand during a movie, throwing an arm around their shoulders while you walk through the park, kissing them gently or rubbing their back while you wait in line for coffee or ice cream. Take it a little further and give their bum a squeeze when nobody’s looking!
Sound – Music has the power to stir up any emotion. Use this to your benefit with a sexy playlist to give the atmosphere an undercurrent of sensuality. Send them a naughty voice recording for them to play repeatedly. You can even whisper sweet nothings in their ear while you sit next to each other in a restaurant.
Foreplay is about so much more than the minutes leading up to sex. Stimulating the senses releases feel-good hormones that contribute to sexual arousal. So, don’t skip the small stuff if you want to have big orgasms later.
The Art of the Tease
After you’ve proven to your lover just how badly you want them, it might be time to take it to the bedroom, couch or wherever you plan on doing the dirty. But don’t get naked just yet! There are still ways to tease and please our partners without penetration.
I’d like to keep it on – While fully clothed, you can kiss, touch and rub your partner’s erogenous zones to get the blood a-flowin’. Start by rubbing their thighs, getting closer to their groin, but not quite. Caress their chest while you kiss. Cop a feel of that butt. Guide them closer with your hands on their hips. Rub them through their underwear until they can’t take it anymore. When we resist the urge to tear their clothes off, we can use that time to fuel desire.
Bust out the tools – There are lots of instruments for teasing our partners, controlling their senses and driving them wild. A feather tickler, blindfold and handcuff combo might take away their sight, but will amplify their reception to touch and sound. Vibrators can introduce new and jaw-dropping sensations that elevate orgasms to new heights.
Living on the edge – Edging is the act of getting as close to orgasm as possible, and backing off right when we reach the cusp. Hence the word “edging.” By repeatedly approaching climax and letting ourselves cool down, we create anticipation and tune into our bodies’ sexual responses. Edging can also help combat premature ejaculation by practicing how to control orgasms. Order your partner to bring themselves close to coming, then forbid them to do so until you decide otherwise. By making them yearn for their climax, it can up the intensity for more satisfying orgasms.
As we have learned, there are many ways to get your sweetheart so hot and bothered that by the time you make it to Pound Town, the fireworks are nothing short of explosive. Orgasms are a dime a dozen, but the creative ways we take to achieve them can last in our memories (and spank-banks) forever.
Fill out our Foreplay Bingo card to see where you rank on the Scale of Seduction!
1 line: Foreplay Fanatic
2 lines: Superior Sex Skills
3 lines: Aficionado of Arousal
Full card: Professor of Sex…No, really. You should teach a class.
Written by GG Hallows